Let's Move On
Too all my openly/not yet openly LGBTQIA (You keep adding letters. I’m trying to keep up) friends, I want to say:
I love you.
Everything about you.
I support you completely.
I’ll come to your weddings when they happen and hopefully they happen sooner rather than later wherever you live because spending each & every day and sharing your whole life with your best friend is awesome.
I’ll be the minister (of sorts) at your weddings if you want me to.
I’ll be the Godfather of your kids. (I can even put some cotton balls in my mouth and talk like Brando with a pinky ring on while petting a cat if that makes it more official).
I’m so thankful that you are in my life.
You are some of the bravest, kindest and most fun people I know.
Thank you for being 100% unapologetically who you are.
The ways we are different are eclipsed by the multitude of things we have in common as human beings doing our best each and every day.
I celebrate you.
For years, religious belief & writings have been used to suppress those that are different.
The things that I wrote above could have been written to a bi-racial couple a few decades ago and would have caused just as many Bible-believing church ladies to clutch their pearls.
The same could be true of other groups that have experienced alienation because of “what the Bible said.” People of color, women, divorced people, etc.
I believe the time has come to put this discussion behind us, quit fighting and withholding rights and just love each other.
As I have said in previous posts, I am not a scholar. I don’t claim to have researched and read mountains of texts on the subject of sexual orientation and religion, but many people have. Scholars and historians alike have taken the time to pour over this topic and share their findings. I would encourage you again to dive in, read something that you might disagree with. Be open-minded and open hearted.
WHAT ABOUT THE BIBLE?
I personally think the Biblical argument against homosexuality is kind of weak simply because eating shrimp seems to be mentioned as a sinful abomination more times than homosexuality. It’s just not in there. It didn’t even make it into the top ten! A short study of the few mentions of homosexuality in the Bible from an impartial source will quickly show you that the Bible (and certainly Jesus) is fairly silent on the issue. That is really only important if you are still using the Bible as a rulebook and instruction manual anyway (See previous post).
WHAT ABOUT MARRIAGE?
For years, people within the Church have been trying desperately to “save marriages.” Now, a very large population is desperate to experience nothing more than loving, monogamous marriage relationships and many in the Church are fighting against it tooth and nail. Not to mention the fact that these couples are lining up to adopt children. With so many from the last generation growing up without fathers, why all of a sudden are we trying to hinder these orphans from being raised with TWO fathers? Marriage isn’t about procreation either. We aren’t denying elderly people the right to be married and I find it hard to believe that there is a lot of procreating going on there. Same-sex couples being granted the right to be married doesn’t affect your marriage at all in any way.
ITS JUST NOT NATURAL.
Well for you it’s not. Is it that hard to believe that a person could have that preference? Calm down, no one is going to try to make you gay. Why does sexual orientation have to be one of the main descriptors of a person? When someone asks you about yourself, you don’t say “Hi, I’m Jack. I’m a carpenter and I’m straight and enjoy soccer.” Is it nature, nurture, both, who knows!? Doesn’t matter. Franciscan Monk, Richard Rohr, has a beautiful quote; “Love is saying YES to what is.” – Let’s love each other and say an affirming YES to each other, no matter our differences. Not “yes, but…” Not “I love you, but I don’t approve of your lifestyle.” How we live is an extension of who we are. You can’t separate the two. Sorry.
(Side note: PLEASE stop telling people with different orientations than you that their lifestyle is probably a result of abuse. That’s so hurtful and ignorant. In my blind religious zeal, I said it to several people and shared that opinion with others when asked. I was wrong. I am so sorry. Please forgive me.)
It’s easy to build walls, judge and even hate from a distance, but when someone you know, whom you’ve lived through many years of life with, that you’ve walked with and cried with and grown to love and trust, when they share with you that they are of a different sexual orientation and they’ve wrestled with it and agonized and tried to change, etc. How can our response be anything other than YES!?
I think that we are still a few decades off from the full acceptance of different lifestyles into the status quo and I believe that just like there are still racists and misogynists out there, that sadly there will always be those that oppose these lifestyles. But over time they, will become a very small minority and we can move on in enjoying life and loving our neighbors.